Under Her Control Drama
\"Unbeknownst to poor Nikki, she didn't realize I was going to go into her purse\" to grab her birth control pills, he said Wednesday on the \"Informed Pregnancy\" podcast. \"It was the beginning of the pack, so I had to pop all those suckers out.\"
Under Her Control Drama
Now Livia is the subject of a new drama series, Domina, which premieres on Sky Atlantic in the UK next week. However, in the first episode, we meet a very different kind of Livia from that of I, Claudius. For a start, she is, at 15, considerably younger than the woman of the world we've come to picture. In the opening scenes the doe-eyed teen (Nadia Parkes) is busy making preparations for her wedding day. Her father, scion of the powerful Claudii family, has matched her with a cousin almost three times her age named Tiberius Nero. So far so true.
For Robert Graves, as for the ancient historians, Livia's interest in her husband's work amounted to interference and control: "Everyone knew that Livia kept Augustus in strict order and that, if not actually frightened of her, he was at any rate very careful not to offend her," reports Claudius in I, Claudius. What new interpretations such as Domina have the power to do is to reframe Livia's involvement in public affairs as evidence of her intelligence and keen political engagement rather than evil meddling. There are good signs that the series will be doing just that.
By contrast, Briggs seemed like a wild child, even though she was trying very hard to control her anger. "My ways were so much cruder, less considerate and more impulsive," she told the CBC. "[I was] often impulsive in an antisocial sort of way. I would sulk or I would snap or I would do something that they never did."
I've come to this seaside town, after reading Briggs' book, in search of parenting wisdom, especially when it comes to teaching children to control their emotions. Right off the plane, I start collecting data.
Control Dramas are crucial to understand because your business and personal life are profoundly affected by them. They cause you, and those you work and live with, the most unhappiness of all your challenging behaviors. And they consume a tremendous amount of emotional energy.
In my decades of coaching top performers, I repeatedly helped leaders cure four key control dramas. As you read them please separate the person from the behavior, and note that control attempts will increase when conflict is avoided.
Scarlett revealed her true colors in the 10th episode of the season, "Scarlett Fever", which is that of a mad scientist who is quite wicked. During the episode, Chris revealed to the contestants that the island was really a robotic replica and that their "challenge" for the day was to deactivate the island before it self-destructed. Scarlett and Max managed to find a shortcut to the island's control center, where Scarlett proclaimed that the island was now under her control. When Max dismissed her and referred to her as his "sidekick", Scarlett became angry and made her villainous transformation, taking off her glasses and letting her hair down. After using one of Chris McClean's bear robots to scare Max out of the room, Scarlett contacted the host through the control center monitor and threatened to flee in an escape pod and allow the island to be destroyed with everyone on it unless he handed over the million dollar prize money, which was her true reason for joining the show. When Chris accused her of bluffing, Scarlett proved him wrong by firing tree missiles at the helicopter he was on with Chef Hatchet.
When the other contestants arrived to stop Scarlett, the evil redhead ignored Sky's pleas for mercy and sent more robots (these in the shape of Chris McClean himself) to defeat them. Shawn, however, was able to destroy them all and they used one robot to lure Scarlett out of the control room under the belief that Chris was going through with her order. Sugar tackled the villainess and hogtied her with her own hair while Sky successfully stopped the island's self-destruction process just in time. Scarlett was later eliminated along with Max, who Chris had grown annoyed with. Scarlett and Max were finally fired out of the elimination cannon, with Scarlett begging Chris to eliminate her with anyone but Max.
She approaches her work with a sense of duty and abject by-the-bookism, whether managing the care of the inmates under her control, ensuring executions are carried out with military precision or attempting to comfort the families of the recently deceased. This is simply a job that must be done to the best of her ability. A gut-wrenching sequence in which she explains the execution process in cold clinical detail while prisoner Anthony Wood (a nuanced and deeply moving performance by Aldis Hodge) weeps in the corner of his cell highlights how deep she has buried her empathy.
When this happens, they feel good but you, in turn, feel drained or weakened. This is because they have seized control of the joint mind the two of you have created, moving you into a kind of voluntary deferral to their dominance.
Pew Research Center conducted this study to better understand the experiences American teens are having with social media. For this analysis, we surveyed 1,316 U.S. teens. The survey was conducted online by Ipsos from April 14 to May 4, 2022.
While these youth describe the benefits they get from social media, this positivity is not unanimous. Indeed, 38% of teens say they feel overwhelmed by all the drama they see on social media, while about three-in-ten say these platforms have made them feel like their friends are leaving them out of things (31%) or have felt pressure to post content that will get lots of likes or comments (29%). Another 23% say these platforms make them feel worse about their own life.
Teen girls report encountering some of these pressures at higher rates. Some 45% of girls say they feel overwhelmed because of all the drama on social media, compared with 32% of boys. Girls are also more likely than boys to say social media has made them feel like their friends are leaving them out of things (37% vs. 24%) or worse about their own lives (28% vs. 18%).
Breath control exercises can also help calm your nerves! Have you ever felt nervous before going up onstage? Your breathing may quicken and you may take more shallow breaths to get more oxygen to your brain. You may rush through your lines to try and get them out faster. Maybe you have to take more breaths to get through a vocal phrase.
Each role in the drama triangle, victim, persecutor, rescuer represents our state of mind, how we think and the way we act when dealing with differences of opinion or disagreements with our own self or others.
Drama triangle provides an escape path to hide our underlying feelings and prevent us from addressing our real problems. Provoked by a personal conflict, the dysfunctional drama arises from latching on to one of the roles of the drama triangle that binds us in a co-dependency trap as we switch across the different roles of the triangle.
Being a victim is different from being vulnerable. A vulnerable person does not lose control of their condition. They recognise it and fight back to get out of that state. A victim on the other hand thinks they cannot do anything to influence or change their state.
A persecutor or a villain has a tendency to control, blame and threaten others living with a false sense of superiority. They put on a grandiose act in an attempt to hide their fear of failure and get defensive when things do not work out the way they anticipated.
Since the rescuer does not address the underlying root cause of the problem and only solves it superficially, they wait for the issue to occur again to uplift their feel good factor by getting a chance to rescue again.
Slow down and take time to go through this phase. Replaying the scenario may bring back some of the painful emotions, but letting yourself go through them with openness and the desire to learn will carve a path to break out of the drama triangle.
In summary, set boundaries for yourself, consciously watch your behaviour, reflect on which roles you assume, how do others participate in it, how do you feel afterwards, what can you change about your situation and how can others help. This form of powerful questioning and self reflection can shift the mindset from seeking drama to awareness which can then enable you to make the shift.
This workbook provides step-by-step guidance with instructions and worksheets to help you identify your prominent role in the drama triangle, recognise patterns of this behaviour and then enable you to consciously opt out of it.
Thank you so much for this article! It was very helpful and great insights. As a mental health provider and someone who is passionate about social justice, I personally along with my clients often struggle with how to break drama triangles when there are different forms of oppression present. My passion for these issues can turn into anger very quickly. I would love to hear your thoughts on this. Thank you! 041b061a72